Relationship Advice Dealing With Anger
Much like life, relationships require hard work, and personal growth. There is no such thing as an easy, perfect relationship. It is not possible to find that one person that can instantly and easily make all of your problems and worries just vanish. No other person in the world can bring you peace and happiness unless you can find it in yourself first. Each of our relationship articles is intended to be used in your every day life, to help you make small repairs or upgrades as you go. Each article is intended to work with the others, yet also be able to stand on its own. So, you should be able to jump in at any time, and hopefully find the information in that article useful!
Dealing with anger.
There are many responses to anger, both aggressive and passive, that people use every day. The only way to deal with this is either by letting it out, or by bottling it up. Either way, if you want to convert this anger to something that will promote personal growth, you need to discover what caused the anger, and attempt to correct it.
Anger is a tool that can be used to make change. It is just a warning, that we feel our rights are being violated, and helps us protect those rights. It helps us identify who we are instead of forcing us to be what someone else decided we should be. It helps us determine how far we are willing to in any given situation. It helps us identify who we are and what we do.
As soon as you see that you are angry, it is important that you identify this, and move quickly to analyze the reasons why, and move to correct the situation. Let's remember, that nothing outside you can make you angry, it comes from within. Identifying this quickly will make it much easier to quickly find and correct the outside problem that caused the anger. Don't let your emotions take over.
Express your feelings. Once you have identified the cause of your anger, verbally express why you felt the anger. Once this is expressed, the feeling will convert from anger to another feeling depending on the situation at that time. It is not as easy as it sounds; perhaps you need a few minutes alone, whatever it takes to calmly talk it out. Even if you are alone, for example if you are in the car driving to work, expressing your anger verbally will change how you feel. After expressing verbally, it will lighten the load.
After you work through the negative, promote positive thoughts. Maybe on your way to work when you got mad, that other driver that annoyed you had alignment issues, maybe they had a friend just die, maybe they never saw you. Let's look at our romantic partnership the same way. Try to see your partner's side and be more empathetic. Work toward compromise. Never act out physically, that will never end well for anyone. No name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, swearing, insulting, or walking out.
Take your time, be calm, and breathe. Always explain that you are willing to hear and accept anything they are willing to say. Help them get to the source of the problem by asking who, what, when, where, and why they feel offended so it can be expressed in a healthy manner. You will be well on your way to improving the bonds of your relationship.
Just remember one thing. When you are angry, think to yourself: "Is this something that I will remember on my death bed?" I am betting the answer is no.