Using Anger To Avoid Pain
Anger for many individuals is a substitute emotion, that they will use to mask and avoid emotional pain. By this we mean that sometimes people make themselves angry so that they don't have to feel weak or deny their true feelings and self. People change their feelings of pain into anger because it feels better to be angry than it does to be in pain. This changing of pain into anger may be done consciously or unconsciously, and often it is done so that they can ACT OUT and GAIN PLEASURE, by forcing control or emotional pain on others.
Many Professional Counselors and Mental Health workers fail to realize this.
Being angry rather than simply in pain has a number of advantages, primarily among them distraction. You aviod emotions, you deny emotion, to gain a false emotional pleasure. People in pain generally think about their pain. However, angry people think about harming those who have caused pain or a safe target to Act on and Transfer their pain to the target either physically, emotionally, psychologically or a combination of 2 or all 3. Part of the transmutation of pain into anger involves an attention shift - from self-focus to other-focus.
Anger thus temporarily protects people from having to recognize and deal with themselves or their weakness, or their lack of skill, and avoid the painful real feelings; they want to focus on a target and getting back at the people you're angry with instead. This keeps the issue External its Other people's fault, it's the worlds fault, its society's fault, they, the angry person is blameless!
Making yourself angry can help you to hide the reality that you find a situation frightening or that you feel vulnerable.'
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Allan Billehus MS, EdS, CRC, LPC, CAMF is an Expert on below-conscious communication and Licensed Professional counselor. He has worked one-on-one with over 3,000 individual on a variety of issues, disabilities. He has over 16 years experience as a Forensic Vocational Expert & Counselor. He is the owner of http://my-counsel.comorganization that offers Crisis Counseling, career Counseling, MH counseling, Employment Screening, Organizational Training in: Anger Management, Advanced Customer Service Skills, Emotional IQ. http://My-Counsel.com Anger Management program uses the Anderson & Anderson model that is the Gold Standard and researched based to create effective Anger Management Skills. http://my-counsel.com